Sexual Violence

Statistics

How often does it happen? (in the US)

Who are the victims?

Who are the perpetrators?

How often is it reported?

The most commonly recited reason for not reporting is out of fear of retaliation.
31% of rapes are reported to police.
Less than 1% lead to an arrest.
False rape reports occurs between 2 and 10% of the time, depending on reporting methods by police departments.

What happens after – to perpetrators?

What happens after – to victims?

After 2 weeks, 94% of rape victims have symptoms of PTSD; after 9 months, 30% of victims do.
Childhood sexual abuse can influence development and lead to a complex form of PTSD (C-PTSD) that affects your interpersonal relationships and emotional regulation.
Being sexually assaulted as a child or adolescent are over twice as likely to be sexually assaulted as an adult.
33% female rape victims contemplate suicide, and 13% attempt suicide.
Victims are more likely to use drugs than the general population.
Victims of childhood sexual assault are four times as likely to have problems with drugs, four times as likely to report PTSD symptoms, and three times as likely to have major depression as adults.

For more information about the prevalence of sexual assault, visit RAINN or the NSVRC.

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Prevention and Protection

Victims are never responsible for being sexually assaulted, and there is no way to guarantee safety. However, there are ways that we can decrease risk by identifying suspicious behavior and creating an environment that helps victims receive help.

Protecting Children:

Know Warning Signs: Watch for behavioral and physical changes that may indicate sexual abuse. These include regressive behaviors; changes in hygiene, appetite, speech, or sleep patterns; avoiding physical contact; knowledge and use of adult and sexual language; and bruising, swelling (especially genital), and bleeding.

Be Involved: By being actively involved in the life of your child, you will be able to know who they spend time with and identify any suspicious behavior, including individuals seeking or spending alone time with your child, the appearance of gifts, the emergence of an adult-child “friendship,” and taking opportunities to touch your child.

Create a Safe Environment: Establish a pattern of open communication and trust. Regularly discuss sensitive issues without shame, including issues about sexuality using proper terminology. Talk about consent and appropriate boundaries: what kind of touching appropriate and inappropriate, and what to do if someone does touch you inappropriately. Many offenders threaten children if they tell, so it is important to emphasize early on that they will never get in trouble for telling you something that someone does to them or for telling you a secret.

Protecting Yourself and Friends:

General Advice: Be aware of victim resources in your area. Avoid giving away too much information on social media and to strangers, including your location, address, or phone number. Use locks and carry personal safety items (e.g. pepper spray, etc.). Trust your instincts, and if someone makes you uncomfortable, avoid them and go somewhere you do feel safe.

Watch out for Inappropriate Behavior: This includes someone paying you excessive attention or affection, attempts to get you alone or to drink, and pushing boundaries that you have set.

When Away: Stay aware and alert of your environment. Go places with trusted friends and establish safety procedures including letting each other know where you are, where you are going, and when you arrive. Have back-up plans prepared (including lies) to escape situations that may turn dangerous. Use code words or signals to escape uncomfortable situations and watch out for each other’s safety and well-being. Don’t leave drinks unattended, and don’t accept drinks from those you don’t trust. Know yourself and monitor your own behavior so that you can know when to avoid drinking or when you may have been drugged.

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Warning Signs of Abuse

There are many warning signs of sexual abuse and assault. Taken alone, these signs are not proof of abuse, but if you identify several signs, you should investigate. The following signs are compiled from RAINN and NSOPW.

Common Warning Signs in Adults, Teenagers, and Children:

Signs of depression or post-traumatic stress disorder
Self-harming behaviors
Suicidal thoughts or behaviors
Failing grades, poor school or work performance
Visible signs of physical abuse, such as bruises or black eyes
Avoiding specific situations or places
Anxiety, especially shifts in situations that cause anxiety
Changes in eating behavior
Sudden mood swings
Shrinks away or seems threatened by physical contact and intimacy
Low self-esteem

Children Specifically:

Bleeding, bruises, swelling, pain, or burning in genital area
Bloody, torn, or stained underclothes
Difficulty walking or sitting
Frequent urinary or yeast infections
Inappropriate sexual knowledge or behaviors
Returns to regressive behaviors, such as thumb sucking
Suddenly has toys or gifts without reason
Nightmares or bed-wetting

Teenagers Specifically:

Changes in hygiene, such as refusing to bathe or bathing excessively
Develops phobias
Runs away from home or school
Sexual promiscuity
Increase in drug or alcohol use
Overly protective and concerned for siblings, or assumes a caretaker role

Adults Specifically

(Note: These are signs of a generally abusive relationship that may include sexual violence):

Withdrawing from other relationships or activities
Disclosing that sexual assault has happened before
Signs or disclosures that a partner discourages them from social activities, relationships, safe sex practices, controlling their communication, or is pressuring them to do things that make them uncomfortable.

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Spotting Predatory Behavior

Sex offenders, like many criminals, are not easily recognized. They are often charming, likable, intelligent, and display no outwardly deviant behavior. They often occupy positions that put them in power or influence over those they would victimize, and they only hurt others in secret. While it is difficult to spot a predator, there are some consistent behaviors, called “grooming behaviors,” that are warning signs of a dangerous person, and they include:

Vulnerable victims
Excessive flattery and attention
Pushing boundaries
Isolation and control

These behaviors take many forms, depending on the age of the victim and the environment.

Children:

Selecting a vulnerable victim: They look for distracted parents, broken homes, and exhausted parents.
Gaining access to the child: They seeks opportunities to be near the child and excuses to strike up a conversation. They volunteer to spend time alone with children, including offers to babysit or go on trips.
Developing trust: They seek to give the child what they may not otherwise have, which usually includes attention, a sympathetic listener, or a friend with shared interests. They share stories, talk/text, and will give gifts. These kinds of adult-child relationships are very serious warning signs.
Pushing boundaries: These boundaries include both physical and social/emotional boundaries. They will look for opportunities to touch the child, innocently at first, including pats on the back and friendly hugs. They may also discuss or displays sexual images or stories until they can begin acting on them.

For example, a predator may see a bored child at the store and use the opportunity to strike up a conversation, discussing favorite superheroes or comics, and reach out to put their arm around the child. It is wise to avoid strangers who show unusual interest in your or another’s child.

Adults:

Short-Term

Excessive attention and charm: Predators often appear perfect; quick to flatter, they need to make you feel special. Be cautious of anyone paying you unusual attention.
Isolation and control: They cannot harm you if you are surrounded by friends and family looking out for you, so they are eager to get you alone. This often includes the use of drugs or alcohol and efforts to test your boundaries, including engaging in physical touch or making sexual comments, even after you’ve expressed discomfort.

Long-Term

Excessive attention and charm: Incredibly attentive, they willingly and generously devote energy to your needs, often giving gifts or other rewards. Emotional isolation often begins here (pointing out how others do not appreciate you or fail to make you a priority) as does a sexual relationship.
Isolation and Control: Once you’ve grown attached, they begin demanding more from you. This not only includes your time and attention, but also expectations of your mood and sexual behavior, and often as a double standard, expecting more from you than they give – they can be frustrated and upset, but you cannot. Pushing boundaries is common, and they are comfortable doing things you have asked them not to. Physical isolation follows emotional isolation, including discouraging or forbidding you to spend time with others and monitoring phone calls or text messages.
Pity: Long-term abusers rely on you staying with them. If you begin to draw away or refuse, they will begin to make you feel guilty for “abandoning them” – sulking, stalking, threatening suicide – and victims often feel compelled to stay to take care of them.

For more information:

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Helping Victims of Violence

It is very difficult for sexual assault victims to come forward about their assaults. They often fear that they won’t be believed, that they will be blamed for what happened to them, or that people will take the side of the perpetrator. Your response to victims matters a great deal and can help, or hurt, their recovery.

Adults

What to do:

Believe them. False accusations are very rare (about as often as other crimes), and coming forward takes a lot of courage and strength. Remind them of that – that they are brave and that you believe them. They need to hear this.
Remind them it is not their fault. Victims are frequently blamed for their actions leading up to, during, and after their assault, and many victims internalize this, blaming themselves. No one deserves to be assaulted, and reinforcing this will help them recover.
Be there for them. Sexual assault feels very isolating, and victims often worry that their relationships will change once others know what happened. Remind them that you care for them and that they aren’t alone. Because the effects from assault can last a long time, check in periodically to make sure they are okay.
Learn about sexual assault. Learning about sexual assault can help you understand what victims go through and provide you tools to help their recovery. Know the resources that are available, and use them to guide your responses and offer them to others.
Help them regain control. Sexual abuse leaves victims feeling powerless, and part of the recovery involves helping them control what happens next. Support their decisions in the aftermath, including whether or not to report to the police.
Be patient. Recovery can take a long time, and it’s important that you support them through this process. It is important to know that some effects of the assault may never go away, and you might expect a new level of normal.
Give space and listen. Be mindful of physical touch until you know they welcome it. Listen at their comfort level: they may divulge a lot or not at all. Both are fine.
Say things like: “I’m here for you.” “Thank you for telling me.” “I’m sorry this happened.” “You didn’t deserve this.” “You are strong.” “This wasn’t your fault.” “I love you.” You’re brave.” “I believe you.”

What not to do:

Blame them. Victim-blaming is common in our culture, but victims are never responsible for being assaulted – predators will find victims, no matter what a victim could have done. Don’t say things like: “Why did you go there?” or “What were you doing with him?” or “Were you drinking?” or “Why didn’t you fight back?” These questions suggest to the victim that they are at fault for what happened to them. Don’t tell them what they should have done.
Judge them for long-term effects. It’s easy to suggest that the victim just “move on,” but moving on from a sexual assault without working through the trauma may cause long-lasting damage. Avoid phrases like, “How long are you going to be like this?” – some effects of trauma never go away completely.
Tell others. Victims have already lost their privacy in a very intimate way, and talking about their trauma to others without their consent violates their privacy again.
Ask prying questions. Victims tell you what they are capable of and comfortable with sharing. You are not entitled to their story.
Focus on your feelings. It is natural to respond with strong emotions when someone tells you that they are victims – you may feel angry, frustrated, or sad. But the victim’s feelings should take priority. Distinguish between actions that will help you feel better and actions that will help the victim. Your desires for vengeance or to just move on are not as important as what the victim needs to heal. Ask them, and listen.
Be a martyr. Take care of yourself, and know your limits. You will not be as effective a support if you don’t.
Say things like: “Everything is going to be all right,” or “It could have been worse,” or “Look on the bright side,” or “Everything happens for a reason.” These trivialize their trauma.

Children

Children very rarely come forward about sexual abuse, and you are far more likely help a victim by identifying warning signs than by waiting for them to tell you. However, once you do find out, your reaction is vitally important and may affect their willingness to talk to you and to others about it in the future which in turn may affect their recovery.

What to do:

Listen carefully and stay calm. They are most likely afraid and uncertain about telling you, and your response may inadvertently tell them that they shouldn’t have said anything and affect their comfort in coming to you in the future.
Express love and support. This is a very scary time for them, and they need to know that you love them no matter what.
Emphasize that they aren’t in trouble and didn’t do anything wrong. Offenders often threaten children if they say anything or come forward, and they need to hear from you that they didn’t do anything wrong..
Believe them. Children rarely lie about sexual abuse.
Seek professional help. This includes medical care, law enforcement, child protective services, and therapy for the family.

What not to do:

Interrogate. Don’t demand details or question them extensively.
Trivialize. What happened is serious, and your reaction needs to be serious. Don’t minimize the importance of what you hear or what they fee.
Panic. Overreaction can confirm the child’s concerns in coming to you.
Blame. Don’t criticize the child for what he or she may have done, and don’t blame them for any part of this. They did nothing wrong.

For more information: Tips for Talking with Survivors of Sexual Assault | RAINN

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Resources and Contacts

If you believe someone is in immediate danger, call 911 immediately.

For more information:
RAINN | The nation’s largest anti-sexual violence organization
Office of Sex Offender Sentencing, Monitoring, Apprehending, Registering, and Tracking (ojp.gov)

Free Hotlines, Chats, and Textlines
National Child Abuse Hotline at 800.4.A.CHILD (422-4453), any time 24/7.
National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.

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